George Orwell Meets the Babylon Bee
in this thriller novel and satirical parody
depicting the demise of the United States through dirty politics, devious corruption, and deadly civil war.
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Sample Excerpt
“It doesn’t matter that President Joel Brandon is a senile old fool. It is ultimately irrelevant what people think or how they vote. We didn’t win the election last time, and we won’t win this next time, either.
And what will the American people do?
Nothing.”
President Joel Brandon, an elderly man with receding white hair, moseyed his way towards a staircase leading from the bottom deck of the luxury yacht to the middle level. He made his way up the stairs while clasping the rail. After several steps, he slipped, dropping to his knees and steadying himself with his hand. He continued upward half a step, then fell again. Attempting to regain his balance, he now fell completely, laying on the stairway on his side for a moment. Taking a breath, he pulled himself up. He stopped to brush off his slacks as nonchalantly as possible before finishing his ascent.
Vice President Gregory Saint-Just turned his head and watched the nearly eighty year-old man.
“That old fool somehow managed to fall up the stairs three times,” Saint-Just spat and sneered, shaking his head in disgust. “I didn’t even know that was humanly possible.”
Lin Jing, a slender and attractive operative for the Chinese Communist Party, furrowed her brow in concern.
“Do you really think the American voters won’t realize just how much dementia and senility has already set in with President Brandon? Do you think you can continue to hide all of his corruption? You are both up for reelection in just a few months!”
Vice President Saint-Just pursed his lips and sighed. “It didn’t matter before. It won’t matter now. The fact of the matter is that we are not going to legitimately win the upcoming election. Our Republican opponent, Ralph O’Donnell, the real estate tycoon from Florida, is simply far too popular in the polls. We have spoken with the American News Network and other media outlets to skew the poll results. They are still working to convince the American people that Joel Brandon and myself are ahead in popular opinion, but that’s not actually true. But no matter. It is ultimately irrelevant what people think or how they vote. We didn’t win the election last time, and we won’t win this time. But,” Saint-Just now smiled darkly, “what did the American people do? Little to nothing. We are still in the White House, and we will remain there despite the best efforts of Ralph O’Donnell… Or anyone else who tries to stop us.”
Gregory Saint-Just stood at the railing of the expensive boat. He took another sip of his chilled Kentucky bourbon. He sneered slightly at a nearby sea turtle through his dark, narrow sunglasses. Shooting the remainder of the alcohol, he hurled the glass at the turtle below. The heavy whiskey glass soared through the air and landed squarely on the turtle’s back, shattering as it made impact with the shell. The sea turtle dove quickly back under the water and fled. Fortunately, the protective shell had ensured that the turtle had suffered little actual injury.
“That’s not very becoming behavior for the Vice President of the United States,” Lin Jing reprimanded coyly from behind Saint-Just. “And a Democrat from California no less!”
Vice President Gregory Saint-Just’s oval mouth generally contorted into a perpetual scowl now twisted upward in a crooked smile.
“Don’t worry, Jing,” Saint-Just replied facetiously. “I made sure to take the straw out of the glass first. The turtle is fine.”
The vice president turned to the dementia-ridden old man still stumbling as he wandered aimlessly along the yacht deck.
“Let’s go, Brandon!”
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Ben Kerido & Sarai Kerido
are a husband and wife writing team, and dual-citizen American-Israelis living in Jerusalem. Ben Kerido is an Israel Defense Force special forces reservist, an international security consultant, and a former US Department of Defense contractor assisting in the management and development of training programs for the US Army teaching psychological warfare, intelligence gathering, countering propaganda, and maintaining political stability in collapsing foreign nations. Sarai Kerido is a former news editor and journalist as well as previously the head of public relations and communications for a United States government agency. The Kerido’s purpose in writing The American Holocaust series is to exhibit to their readership the sinister methodology used by corrupt and tyrannical entities to relentlessly clutch onto their power and deprive their citizens of liberty and safety. In a style and format reminiscent of Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell, The American Holocaust (a.k.a. Let’s Go, Brandon! – The Novel) details the mechanisms of foreign influencing and bribery, news media propaganda, corrupt political intrigue, complex military technology and operations, and much more. Together, Ben & Sarai Kerido combined their shared knowledge, expertise, and opinions to bring together a dystopian satirical parody that rings so true to life in present-day America that in some cases it is utterly hilarious and in others just downright terrifying.
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